The NBA is a 24/7 soap opera that keeps it fans glued to their feeds with All My Children-esque storylines even when the clock isn't ticking. Thanks to Jaguars cornerback Jalen Ramsey, the NFL got a much-needed injection (and not the cortisone ones) of personality earlier this week. Known for backing up his brash talk with his brilliance on the island, Ramsey got everyones panties/briefs into a bunch during his GQ interview leading up to the 2018 season, baiting quarterbacks with his biting critiques and taking the throne as the league's villain (just read the comments section of PFT)/people's champ (we rockin' with Jalen). From singing Tyrod Taylor and Lamar Jackson’s praises to dropping a fat deuce on Josh Allen, Ramsey took a pick six to house with this one.
Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers: Ramsey says they don’t suck
4MP Bobby Take: Two greatest quarterbacks to ever do it. Factual.
Josh Allen: I think [Buffalo Bills draft pick Josh] Allen is trash. I don’t care what nobody say. He’s trash. And it’s gonna show too. That’s a stupid draft pick to me. We play them this year, and I’m excited as hell. I hope he’s their starting quarterback. He played at Wyoming. Every time they played a big school—like, they played Iowa State, which is not a big school in my opinion because I went to Florida State, and he threw five interceptions, and they lost by a couple touchdowns or something like that. He never beat a big school. If you look at his games against big schools, it was always hella interceptions, hella turnovers. It’s like: Yo, if you’re this good, why couldn’t you do better? He fits that mold, he’s a big, tall quarterback. Big arm, supposedly. I don’t see it, personally.
4MP Bobby Take: The only thing wrong with this, is that the five-pick game came against Nebraska. Everything else is as accurate as Tom Brady on Sundays.
Lamar Jackson: “If all those teams were wanting Baker [Mayfield] so bad — Baker compares better with Lamar [Jackson] than any of those other quarterbacks,” Ramsey said. “So if they want that type of quarterback — confident, get out the pocket, throw on the run, big plays, charisma — then yeah, I understand Baker going number one. But if all the other people were competing and wanting Baker, too, then why wasn’t Lamar the second quarterback chosen? Instead of at the end of the first round?”
4MP Bobby Take: Another accurately placed dart from Ramsey. Baker’s a tad bit more polished, but not even close to as dynamic. I like Baker, but they really are almost the same guy.
Tyrod Taylor and Marcus Mariota: Ramsey said both QBs are good for what their teams ask of them, which is to be “in position to be in the game late” and limit turnovers.
4MP Bobby Take: Mariota’s trash. Cool game manager, but trash. Tyrod will have his praises sang in the gutters of Cleveland after he leads the Browns (his second hopeless franchise in as many stops) to the playoffs. Free Beer for a Year
Jimmy Garoppolo and Jared Goff: Ramsey believes they are a product of scheme
4MP Bobby Take: While Garoppolo benefits from working with offensive guru Kyle Shanahan, Jared Goff has the luxury of executing the calls provided by genius Sean McVay. This is a fair take, but as long as these quarterbacks are paired with those two, they’ll flourish
Deshaun Watson and Carson Wentz: Ramsey said Watson and Wentz will be competing for league MVPs for the next five to 10 years.
4MP Bobby Take: I’m putting $$$ down and riding with this take. These two jobens are special.
Dak Prescott: “He’s alright. He’s OK. I’ll put it that way. [Ezekiel Elliott] runs that team though.”
4MP Bobby Take: He’s 1000 percent the product of Elliott’s brilliance. If you need proof look at his numbers without Zeke. I’ma keep it real with you chief, he’s not very good and I don’t think he’ll be a starting quarterback for much longer. At least not in Dallas.
Kirk Cousins: “I think he’s good. I think he’s a winner. He’s a hell of a competitor. Coming off the play-action, he’s the best quarterback in the league.”
4MP Bobby Take: The homie, secret agent Fresh (v. important source in the football community) would second this take. I think Cousins is a great competitor, but he has obvious limitations. It’s fair.
Eli Manning, Andrew Luck, and Ben Roethlisberger: As with Prescott, Ramsey believes Manning, Luck, and Big Ben’s successes are tied to Odell Beckham Jr., T.Y. Hilton, and Antonio Brown, respectively. “I won’t say Eli’s good, I’ll say Odell’s good,” he said before drawing similar parallels between Big Ben and Brown as well as Luck and Hilton.
4MP Bobby Take: Hell ya, Eli benefits from Odell, but he’s going to light it up this year thanks to all the weapons a fully-stocked Giants offense boasts. False on Big Ben, look at AB’s numbers without him. False on Luck, he’s nasty.
Derek Carr and Russell Wilson: Ramsey says both are good
4MP Bobby Take: Carr throws the game’s prettiest deep ball, and Wilson is a magician with the rock. Good suffices.
Joe Flacco: “Flacco sucks.”
4MP Bobby Take: Flacco is indeed ass. Nobody cares about that lucky ass Super Bowl victory when the lights went out, and Ray Lewis’ prayers to the football God’s were answered.
Nick Foles: “He won them a Super Bowl so he’s good enough to do that.”
4MP Bobby Take: He’s Nick Foles. The next time you hear his name in the news, it’ll be for retiring.
Drew Brees: “I’m a fan of Drew Brees. I think Drew Brees really good, even at this age.”
4MP Bobby Take: He’s totaled at least 4,000 passing yards in each season he’s quarterbacked the Saints. There should be a second line parade in his honor coming soon.
Ryan Tannehill: “I don’t know much about him. I haven’t heard the greatest of stuff about him but I don’t know him personally so I can’t tell you. I don’t watch their games either.”
4MP Bobby Take: Let’s all take some time to remember when Tannehill was a good quarterback………..when you asked? Never.
Philip Rivers: “I think he’s pretty good.”
4MP Bobby Take: My favorite quarterback in football, Rivers talks shit, backs it up on the field and has enough kids to start his own 7-on-7 squad.
Matt Ryan: “I think Matt Ryan’s overrated. You can’t tell me you win MVP two years ago, and then last year, you a complete bust, and you still got Julio Jones?”
4MP Bobby Take: Is he lying? Look at what Shanahan was able to do with Garoppolo in San Francisco. Now look at what Ryan did without him in 2017. Make sense?
Blake Bortles: He called him Playoff Blake. The Diplomatic Ramsey might as well run 4 president
4MP Bobby Take: He’s Playoff Blake, bro.
For some of these quarterbacks, Jalen's words could be the soundtrack for the rest of their careers and beyond. Only time will tell if these critiques hold up, but at least we've been provided entertainment to liven up the snooze fest that is the preseason. Let the mental/physical games begin.