5 Dudes You Don’t Want To Play REC Ball With
Most of us Rec-League ballers don’t ask for much. We simply want to compete, ball with our patnas, win and as Dom Kennedy said, “show out 4 the tiddays in the stands.” On occasion, we get to hoop with professionals, who you know are normally the tallest and best players. It’s cool, but I’m going to keep it a buck: The league’s got some dudes we’d all hate to hoop with. Whether it’s shot selection, effort, attitude, inability or unwillingness to find open teammates etc. there are factors that can ruin what was supposed to be a dope run. Not taking away from any of these dudes, they’re obviously extremely talented and in the league for a reason. With that being said, here’s my list of Players I’d Least Like to Play Rec Ball With.
Miami Heat C Hassan Whiteside
On July 1st 2016, Whiteside dropped a Snapchat video announcing his intentions to resign with the Heat. With the camera rolling, dude had the audacity to play Will Smith’s Miami in the background whilst spurning my hometown Mavericks. Little did I know, the basketball Gods were saving us from ourselves. Fast-forward two seasons and I’ve come to the realization that Whiteside may or may not give a fuck about hooping. I know that’s harsh because the guy is one of the most dominant defensive bigs whenever he feels like it. He simply just doesn’t care to be that every night. How many times have you seen Whiteside go for 20 points, 20 boards and five blocks on Thursday and then vanish and total six points and six fouls on Sunday? Guys who are often in foul trouble are already an issue. Now, you’ve got a dude who’s swinging wildly at accountants going 78 percent and thinking he always needs more touches. Buyer beware, that guy will call it in quicker than a McDonald’s attendant if is needs aren’t satisfied. I’m good on running with Hassan. Bam! Where you at?
Los Angeles Lakers G/F Kentavious Caldwell-Pope
You’ve heard the the term, “shooter who can’t shoot, right? That’s ya boy, KCP. Once known for being the quintessential 3-and-D guy, Caldwell-Pope has become nothing more than an aesthetically displeasing gunner in Los Angeles. Thanks to Klutch, LeBron’s management, KCP ran off on the plug and took years off Lakers’ fans lives with his total disregard for making the right play. Nothing’s lit about playing pick-up ball with volume shooters when they’re off. And you know what’s worse than a struggling volume shooter? One whose woman is in the stands, yelling loudly and encouraging him to take more shots. Giant redflags for any guard who plays 25 minutes a game and averages just one meager ass assist. LUKE...COACH WALTON...LUKEYYY.. at some point please tell bruh to incorporate a simple pump fake or maybe a drive and dish into his game. Please Hoops Gods. I am begging.
Portland Trail Blazers F/C Meyers Leonard
Nothing more crucial than having size on your pick-up squad. Like deadass, you got some tall dude on your team and it’s like Bill Russell going against carpenters all over again. Now think of said tall dude being Meyers Leonard. You know the 7-footer who casually went over a year with not a single block. Might as well put the Raptors’ Fred Van Vleet in the paint. He’s barely 6-feet in Timbs, but he has heart and totaled the same number of blocks over that span. If you’re in the market for a big man who won’t block any shots, grab rebounds but will stand beyond-the-arc, wave his long ass arm into the air and proceed to shoot a host of 3s, he’s your man. Hard pass for me, dog.
Oklahoma City Thunder G Russell Westbrook
Let me go ahead and say it….I don’t want Russy on MY team. Again, this is MY team. Now, let me explain why I have no interest in running 5s with “The Brodie.” If you are basketball fan, you should be aware of how boo boo #0 has been from deep this year (24.2%). I get keeping defenses honest, but have you seen the volume? They tell shooters to keep shooting, but when you aren’t particularly a shooter, you might want to stop pulling the trigger from deep and get to the rim. The shit is problematic. Oh, and coincidentally he’s shooting a career-worst 63 percent from the stripe. Yes, I heard Russell call himself the best rebounder, passer and defender at the position. And yes, I think he was possibly drunk when he said that. All jokes aside, he’s a fabulous force in the NBA and a future Hall of Famer. Dudes simply too erratic and complements my game poorly due to his refusal to move without the ball. I’m a captain and a point guard.
New York Knicks F Mario Hezonja
If NBA 2K19 had an irrational confidence player badge, Hezonja’s faceass would be the logo. Former top 5 pick Super Mario swore he was Kobe before coming to America and eating a piping hot piece of humble pie upon arrival. Talk about fresh off the boat. Though it was slightly wavy when a young faceass Hezonja dropped the “Let Messi come see me” quote when asked if he saw Lionel Messi play in Barcelona during his overseas days, we know Messi didn’t see Bruv play. Like Bruv, Messi hasn’t even heard of you. Fast-forward to 2018-19, his fourth season in the L, and Bruv still doesn’t create well off the bounce, move his feet defensively and is a having career worst shooting year under player development God David Fizdale. Fiz is my guy but I will end all allegiances if he tries to convince me to accept a trade for the NY Knicks forward before the soon approaching Rec league trade deadline. Best of luck though.
Dallas Mavericks G/F Wes Matthews
Minnesota Timberwolves G/F Andrew Wiggins