Takeaways From HBO 'Hard Knocks'
Season 14 Episode 2
Had a feeling Hard Knocks played a vital role in the liberation of AB's feet picture. Dude's not releasing those pups to the "Gram" without HBO coaxing Feet Gate. Antonio entering a cryogenic chamber raw foot sounds hysterical. It's colder than Antarctica in that bitch. Now, for the idiots in the back complaining about AB not participating in training camp. There are only so many routes on the route tree, and he's the hardest working man in the business. He'll get the job done. These other guys need reps.
Watched a shit ton of film on Keelan Doss before the draft. I'm mystified on how he went undrafted. 6-foot-3, set multiple school records at UC Davis and attacks the ball like a power forward going up for a rebound. He was projected to go in the third-fifth round. Gruden's right, Doss has to be playing pissed off. And you know “Chucky” would rather see Doss mossin’ Dbs than his wife. Dude lost his virginity to Notre Dame's fight song.
Nathan Fucking Peterman. Oh, brother, we enjoyed several Sundays of shot slamming courtesy of Nate Peterman, and his decision making in Buffalo. You owe me and my liver a gotdamn check. He's a tough son of a bitch for sticking with football, though. And another thing of real importance. The quarterback room is full of betas. “Chucky” seems exasperated.
Maxx Crosby, Colleyville Texas, what it doooooooo baby. He represented for the Tri-Cities (Southlake, Keller, Colleyville) by killing the rookie talent show with Tallahassee Pain's "Buy U A Drink." And don't think we didn't see the ice. $780k baby. When you grinding, you shining.
Brooooo, Derek. I don't give a fuck about how you proposed to your wife, brother. Don't think the fans at home or the rookies do either. Step in when you throw, please.
Two fucking football guys footballing it up. This is what we came to fucking see. McVay and Gruden are two of the game's brightest and best pigskin personalities. Watching a protege of the Gruden tree sprout into a miniature version of “Chucky” himself is beautiful.
Richie it's not your fault. You're getting your ass whipped. Aaron's jumping the snap and grabbing knives. Your hands don't compare. Aaron is different.
There were a lot of people who didn't like Jonathan Abram in the first episode. If you've never played football competitively, your disdain stems from ignorance. And there’s nothing wrong with that. If you have been in a locker room , you know personalities like Abrams' are essential to a team's success. Dude puts on his big-boy pants and goes to work every day. Charles Woodson wants you to be true to yourself every day, and Jack Tatum would be proud.
When are we going to get Vontaze Burfict? I know he's a reticent, lowkey guy, but we need some Vontaze. As a high schooler, I had the picture of ASU Vontaze pointing at Matt Barkley pre-snap as my computer background.
Gruden's crush on #84 is precious as fuck. I hope we see much more of it in the upcoming episodes.