Takeaways From HBO 'Hard Knocks'
Season 14 Episode 4
Started watching the episode in bed, but then realized I didn’t have any wood near. How did I respond to adversity? Relocated to the living room and knocked the fuck on wood. Chuckie needs to know the fans at home are all in too. This is the Raiders way.
Luke Willson had to show respect. Drake and Gretzky aren’t neck-and-neck anymore. Drake’s the King of Canada. Salute to Willson for being partial and not riling up the fans above the border. Would like to smash a few beers with that guy and discuss how to improve our calves. Oh, and I need that Raiders snuggie joint — fucking fire.
The NFL owes Hard Knocks/HBO a fat-ass check. We all know the league doesn’t give two shits about the mental health of its players and instead of allowing its employees access to marijuana for pain management, they’d rather them pop a host of highly addictive opioids. Highlighting Darren Waller’s road to recovery is the type of PR Roger Goddell, and the boys need. Fans get so distracted by the story that they forget the league is part of the problem. Salute to Waller for finding a 12-step program wherever he resides.
I almost shed a tear when Jason Cabinda called his mom to inform her that she had tickets to the game against the Packers in Canada. Parents make a lot of sacrifices to ensure their kids succeed, especially parents of athletes. It’s awesome to see kids treat their parents. Cabinda’s also a Jersey boy. We’re rooting for everybody from the Garden State.
Gruden’s crush on Keelan Doss is adorable. Doss is a fucking baller and deserves everything coming his way. Watch the film from UC Davis, please. I really can’t understand how he went undrafted. $23,000 signing bonus? Payday come soon.
Just from a personality standpoint, you know Jonathan Abram is going to be a stud. He’s drenched in confidence, plays the game like he’s got 018330249143280 mouths to feed and is the defensive players’ defensive player. You see how he commanded the room when he sang Usher’s “U Got It Bad?” The better footballers know how to appeal to their constituency. They’re like delegates of sorts.
Thought we’d never be seeing Hard Knocks legend Brogan Roback again. Thank God, we have. The Brobie cut? Quarterbacks usually aren’t the coolest people in the world, and it’s not their fault. They’re under a bigger microscope than anyone else and expected to act like conservative, bible-thumping robots. Brogan’s the antithesis, and we fuck with the boy.
Antonio Brown has been attending high school games and practices for years. This is no publicity stunt. He genuinely loves the game and spends much of his offseason working out with high schoolers and college athletes from state-to-state. Imagine how inspired you’d be after training with arguably the world’s greatest receiver ever? Giving back and sharing knowledge is important.