Dating In The Netflix N' Chill Era
 

You ever log on to your Twitter app early in the morning, still groggy because you know you have to roll up outta bed for work, and read some bullshit? I can’t be the only one. Shit, I’m a bullshitter and there is no way my bullshit meter is that much higher than anybody else’s. Some bullshit that gives me a permanent Swaggy P face? (If you don’t know what the Swaggy P face is, Google is only a click away.) The number of tweets related to what “real men” did or did not do “back in the day.”

Listen, I want to question some of the people I follow, and I don’t filter what gets retweeted onto my timeline so I’m privy to a lot of this tomfoolery. You parody-page-reading mamis ain’t foolin’ nobody.

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For one, yo pappy, Uncle Elroy, Grandpa Don and the rest of those dudes were grimier than most of us are in the Netflix n’ Chill era. If we’re being brutally honest, men don’t have the upper hand like we once did. You think access to women is easier because of social media? No, my love! Go outside for five minutes, locate a populated area and see if you don’t find somebody attractive. It doesn’t matter where you are, somebody will most likely holler at you -- and that’s either a good or bad thing, mostly bad cuz it sounds annoying. I’ll concede, you can reach people from a distance, but honestly that’s an investment, you either want to make or don’t.

Now, let’s talk about these  “simpler times” when a species called “real men” roamed the Earth. Simpler times when there was no technology and Ted was cheating on Hattie Mae like it was going out of style. See, good ole Ted might’ve had a whole ‘nother family up the street and nobody would’ve found out until everybody met each other at the funeral. What a joyous event that sounds like. So much better than having to deal with somebody you most likely find the CarFax on by searching social media, right?

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At least now, you have a chance to locate my ass. Not only can you locate my ass, you can catch my ass. See, I’m not going to say, I’m out here getting caught because this shit isn’t about me. It’s about ya’ll refusing to acknowledge how easy it is to control the situation out here.

You complain about men not wanting to do anything but “chill,” not wanting to do this and that but listen, babygirl, you have the power of choice. You don’t have to settle for the Netflix n’ Chill. You wanted to. And I love you for it. Even if that means coming over and actually watching the movie, which yes does happen a good 15 percent of the time.

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Let me be clear and really clear, YOU set the standard for the date, and unless you’ve been schemed (which does happen a lot), then you already know what buddy is about. Now this applies when you put pressure on situations and have expectations for shit. STOP EXPECTING THINGS FROM PEOPLE WHO MAKE IT CLEAR THEY AREN’T INTERESTED IN LIVING UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS. If you can’t, then dating in the Netflix n’ Chill era might not be for you.